May 10th, 2012

rose, bible

Those Two Words Don't Go Together

A question on facebook this morning - "Do you support gay marriage?" got me thinking:

No, I really don't support gay marriage.  To me, those two words just don't go together.

I have a hard time distinguishing in my mind between marriage as a covenant between a man and a woman that was ordained by God, and marriage as a contract sanctioned by a state/government that wants nothing to do with God.  They really aren't the same thing.  Government never should have been involved in marriage in the first place.  That's something that is between a husband, a wife, and God.  A civil contract - that's different.

So when someone says 'gay marriage' I can't help but think, "But marriage IS between a man and a woman!" That's what marriage IS."  And not being ready to change the very DEFINITION of marriage isn't really about hate (as always seems to be thrown out there) or trying to deny people their rights.  

Maybe, instead of trying to redefine marriage, we should stop trying to call the government sanctioned contract 'marriage' - for everybody.  My husband and I would have been MARRIED regardless of what the government had to say. Just call it a civil contract or a civil union and be done with it.

Does the terminology really make a difference?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  But maybe it would be easier for people to separate in their minds between actual marriage - before God - and something that's been called marriage but really has absolutely nothing to do with God or beliefs, something that's just a contract that comes with the resulting responsibilities and benefits.

Most of the people who want to change the definition of marriage don't want anything to do with God, anyway - so why try to enter into something that was originally ordained by Him?  They just want the contract and the benefits.  (and we're not just talking about gay people here, either)

So, no - I will not be supporting 'gay marriage' but I also won't be actively opposing it.  If somebody asks me to define marriage, I'm still going to define it as being between a man and a woman - because it is.  That's not hateful; that's just stating my belief. 

(I looked up the definition of marriage on - and they have already attempted to redefine the term.  Oh well.)